Lately I have been feeling so anxious.. and I am not sure why. I know I have a lot on my plate.. and I mean A LOT. Being a single mom is probably the hardest thing I have ever done. I wish I had more time to spend with my girls, get to know them, but all I feel like I ever do is rush rush rush all the time. There are not enough hours in a day! I feel like I am missing out on everything with them. I try so hard to be the good mom, but I know they resent how busy I am.
I also made the choice, this year, to go back to school. I attend classes online to obtain my teaching degree. I try and do most of my work at night, after they are asleep, but the weekend are usually full of writing papers for class. I miss spending fun times with the girls on the weekend. Thank goodness for my parents, who usually watch them for me on the weekend so I can get my work done.
Between the single mom thing, going to school, working full time, and constantly worrying about paying the bills... I am exhausted.
My wonderful boyfriend lives 3000 miles away... which is a constant stresser. Me and the girls want so desperately for him to be here, but until the economy improves (which I don't see happening anytime soon) he can not move.
My life is full of waiting... waiting to finish school, waiting for a better job, waiting for a moment to spend with my children,. waiting for a visit from the boyfriend. With all this waiting I feel like I am missing out on life.
Well, right now the countdown has begun to boyfriend's next visit. He will be here March 5th! I am so looking forward to this visit... it has been since Thanksgiving since we saw each other last... but the anxious part of me is already counting down to when he will leave again, and then another 4 month countdown begins.
The last thing I have been so anxious about is my weight loss. I have lost a lot of weight.. over 100lbs in about 2 years. I stalled about 8 months ago. I recently joined Weight Watchers and I don't think it is working... or maybe not working as fast as I am used to.Wednesdays are weigh in days.. so that would be tomorrow. As of this morning the scale.. the evil scale... said that I lost a total of ZERO this week! How is that even possible? I stayed on plan.. absolutely no cheating AT ALL!! Is it bad that I am hoping for a stomach flu to hit sometime tonight??
Will check back in tomorrow and let you know how it goes!
